What’s up fam! Today we are welcoming back Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri for another conversation about narcissism and how to navigate it. This is part two of a multi-part series that we are doing and I'm really honored to have this opportunity to chat with her again. In our previous episode together, we talked about some of the different types of narcissism and narcissism in general and today we are focusing on the effects of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person. Tune in!
In this episode…
Spectrum of personality traits
Relationship patterns of narcissism
Love bombing
The 3 C’s
Red flags
Trauma bonding
DIMMER - what it means and what to look for
Gaslighting
Quotes:
“Narcissists come across as being really curious about you, but really what they're doing is they're collecting as much information so that they can use it against you.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri
“Trauma bonded is trauma occurring within the relationship and that is the bond between the two.” - Nikki Spo
“Gaslighting mostly occurs by a person who you trust.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri
“Lying is a denial of reality and gaslighting goes on to dismantle the target.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri
“I've learned over the years that I can't control how other people treat me or what they do to me or what they say to me or how they try to make me feel. I can only control my reaction to things and how I respond to those situations.” - Nikki Spo
“You can't gaslight me because I know myself. I know who I am. But when you are in a space of not knowing who you are and slowly your self-worth is being chipped away at and that breaks down over and now you feel like your self-worth is completely diminished, that person is easy to gaslight.” - Nikki Spo
“Gaslighting is the pathologically insecure person who's praying on the conventionally insecure person.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri
“Let's not blame the victim. Let's give them the support that they need. Let's give them the understanding.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri
Timestamps:
0:00 - 2:10 | Intro
2:10 - 5:20 | Relationship patterns of narcissism
5:20 - 8:25 | Breakdown of narcissistic relationships: Love bombing
8:25 - 11:55 | Identifying the red flags
11:55 - 14:05 | Trauma bonded
14:05 - 15:55 | The devaluing phase
15:55 - 22:40 | Manipulation
22:40 - 34:05 | Gaslighting
34:05 - 39:45 | The D and R of DIMMER
39:45 - 42:40 | Hoovering
42:40 - 46:05 | Having a narcissistic partner
46:05 - 48:55 | Cognitive fallouts
48:55 - 51:15 | Emotional or interpersonal fallouts
51:15 - 52:10 | Fallout of identity
52:10 - 53:25 | Physical and behavioral fallout
53:25 - 55:50 | Giving support
55:50 - 57:44 | Outro
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